twenty four Questions with Pat Cashman, Seattle based comedian, tv and radio personality, and former cast member of Almost Live!

with William Pennington


Not to be crass, but that Cashman fellow is just goddamn funny.  You may remember him from a beyond local famous television show called Almost Live! (exclamation mark included).  He was also the voice of morning radio for many years, and maybe your favorite Taco Time commercial.  My favorite work of his has been being the voice of the host in Super Smash Bros. Wii.  Bet you didn't know that was him!  Pat Cashman has been making Seattle laugh for almost 40 years, but he just seems like a guy that was probably born funny, before he ever came to he was making his mother laugh in the womb.  Do a YouTube search of Pat Cashman and you'll run into a rabbit hole of videos that could last you days, if not weeks!  I cannot get enough of his podcast, the Peculiar Podcast, on iTunes and wherever podcasts are sold.  I was gracious enough to ask him to be gracious enough answer a few questions for me, so now please, let's hear it for the President of the Pineapple Upside-Down cake Reign of Terror himself, Mr. Pat Cashman!!!

I love your podcast!  It seems to agree with me so far, as I've listened to an episode every morning for the last month.  Do you prefer this medium over say radio or television?

I prefer radio and television because I prefer making money.

Is there a physical place to go that recognizes the efforts of Almost Live?  Maybe a plaque or mural somewhere?

I believe there is some mention of the show at MOHAI---which stands for Museum of History and Industry. I'm not sure if "Almost Live" is history or industry. Incidentally, I have long proposed renaming the place to "Museum of History and Industrial Relics." Or, MOHAIR.

Who are some of your favorite Seattle comedians now?

I think the folks running City government are pretty hilarious.

Do you have a Mt Rushmore of your work?  I mean, do you have 3 or 4 favorite pieces you've done over the years that mean so much to you as your own child?  

Frankly---and seriously---the stuff I've done WITH my own children are my favorites. "Sluggy" from "Almost Live" with my daughter and son---and the sketches my son Chris and I did together more recently on 'the 206' and 'Up Late NW."

Some people don't like hearing their voice on tape.  Are you ever annoyed by the sound of your own voice, or wish you had a different one?

I wish I had the voice of the young Lauren Bacall.

I think Almost Live should be required viewing for any new Seattlite. How can we make this a law?

Run the idea by Trump and see what happens.

Where is your favorite vegetarian steakhouse?

Either Ruth Kales'---or the Steakback Outhouse.

If a country were to be discovered or started today, could they have a more recent sounding national anthem?  Is there a rule that says all national songs have to sound at least 200 years old?

No rule, but a suggestion. Incidentally, the country of Chad has the most modern anthem---a disco tune. By the way, Chad is the only country named after a frat guy.

If you were walking and came upon a burning building, and all of the pets you've ever had were trapped in there, which one would be the first one you would save?

Smokey the cat

Do you deserve a time machine, or would you use it for evil?

I would use it for Evel---to go back and, this time, get Mr. Knievel successfully over the Snake River Canyon.

Who’s your favorite 1920s French ventriloquist?

Probably Pepe' Lips. A lousy ventriloquist actually, but his DeGaulle impression was terrific.

If you were to join a cult, which one would it be?

Weight Watchers.

If you were immortal, could you survive in space without a suit?

No. I would need a suit. Men's charcoal slim-fit Italian. 1913 collection.

Why do Christmas chocolates seem to taste different than Easter chocolates? Is it because you feel differently at different times of the year?

Have you had counseling?

Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes. I think I saw Ichiro in the Mariners' dugout yesterday.

Will nursing homes be more fun when we get old? They're going to have video games there at least, right? There won't be Parcheesi or backgammon, I bet.

To turn a phrase, nursing homes are wasted on the old. They should be for the newly born, where the lack of teeth, inability to walk---and drooling will actually get better over time---and the residents can eventually leave.

Would you rather get stuck in an elevator with six crying babies or six used car salesmen?

I'd rather get stuck in an escalator with six Victoria Secret models.

In the arm wrestling trucker movie Over the Top (1987), Slyvester Stallone had a special weight lifting machine for his right arm, to use while driving.  Was that an actual product that truckers could buy, or was it made especially made for the film?

Ask Stallone. Why would I know that? And you spelled Sylvester wrong.

How come we haven't seen much alien art in sci-fi movies? I feel like Chewbacca or ET would have made nice paintings.

Again, get a counselor. Quick.

So what would unicorn milk taste like?  Is it the best thing you will ever drink?

Never mind. I think it's too late.

Does the Joker belong in the Comedian Hall of Fame?

Sure. Along with Riddler, the Punster and the Knock-Knocker.

Do we really have emotions, or are our brains tricking us?

Your question makes me laugh. Then cry.

Why aren’t there more public bathrooms?

To protect the innocent.

What would your last meal be?

Probably an IV drip in a hospital.


WP - April 2018